How many of us are guilty of sleep walking through our lives? If someone were to ask me if I wish my life away, I would say, "Of course not, I try to live my life to the fullest." But if I actually look at my day, there are always the times that I wish it were the weekend already or can the kids please stop talking already! I've been realizing that if I truly want to be happy, I need to find a way to be happy in the moment.
Being happy in the moment is not a natural thing for me. I had a pretty bad childhood and the way I got through it was to look to the future. Everytime things would get bad, I would tell myself that it was only temporary and that I needed to get through it to get to the good part of my life. That became a pattern for me throughout life. I've always been focused on the future. Now as I approach 40, I have started to be jealous of people just starting things, new school year, college, career, marriage. I realized that I am living a pretty charmed life right now and yet I am still wishing it away.
It's great to have goals and to plan for the future, but we also need to be happy in the present. The last few weeks I have really tried to enjoy the present tense of my life. When the kids try to talk to me, I put the book down or turn off the TV and listen. When I get free time, I savor it. Even if I am just wasting my time on inane things, I am appreciative of having that free time. When I am at work, I am enjoying the people around me, not thinking of all the things I need to do later.
Here in Austin, TX, we have had one of the driest, hottest summers on record. Normally we have about 12 days of triple digit temperatures. This summer we have had 69 so far. This week a cool front came through and it will be only in the high 90s, and really cooling off at night for the first time in months. As I drove home from taking my daughter to school this morning with the windows open in the car, I didn't let myself think of the full day ahead of me and all I needed to accomplish. I just savored the cool breeze and enjoyed the bliss of the moment.
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