Healthy Body

I've changed my focus in the last few years from losing weight to being healthier. It was a hard shift to make in our society. The thing that did it for me was trying to explain to my daughters why they shouldn't diet. I've been overweight most of my adult life, but I think that dieting really caused a lot of it. I put myself into a feast or famine situation. I was either strictly watching what I was eating and counting calories or stuffing my face with all the things I had been denied (whether I wanted them at the moment or not). Same thing with exercise. I was either at the gym doing all sorts of exercises I hated or I was sitting on the couch.

It is really amazing what happens when we turn the switch to being healthier. I exercise quite a bit now because I teach water exercise classes. The difference is that the exercises I do are fun and not because they will burn the optimal amount of calories. I've found things that appeal to me. I think that is the trick. Finding things that work for you. They have to fit into your schedule and personality. It is so much better to do a bit less but do it consistently. Not very many of us can go full out and sustain it.

It's the same thing with changing the way you eat. We need to listen to our bodies and find what works for us. At the same time, we need to think about the changes that we are willing to make. It doesn't matter if I find the perfect plan for my body if I can't stick to it. As I've learned in the past, all that does is create a ticking bomb until I binge on everything I think I was denied. The reason there are so many diet plans out there is that we all are different. It all has worked for someone. We need to listen to ourselves to see what will work for us and what we can sustain.

I think the biggest key is also to make peace with our bodies. I tell my girls all the time that we are not all built the same way. There is no way someone with a curvy body can look like a waif and be healthy. I hope they get the message that being healthy is so much better than being thin. I also hope that if I say it long enough to them, I can continue to believe it myself.

but I don't feeel like it (whine)

Let's face it. Some days we just can't muster the energy to be reflective. Some days we have a dark cloud following us. Should we just throw in the towel and wallow? Maybe. I think that it is okay to not be all sunshine all the time. The trick is to remain grateful through our bad mood and to not let a day or so of moodiness stretch out to a few weeks.

I like to think of the moodiness as a time to recharge. Generally we are many things to many people and frankly, sometimes it is exhausting. If you find resentment creeping in, it is important to recognize you need a break before it becomes a full out melt down temper tantrum. Maybe it is time to claim a bad mood and lock yourself in your room with a good book or sappy movie. Let everyone fend for themselves for a couple of hours. I find that if I take the time to let the negative emotions flow through me, they generally don't hang around for too long. If I try to stop the flow, it festers until I am mad and frustrated with everything. We need to be realistic. We are human and that includes good moods and bad.

The one caveat I have is to not wallow too deep. To try to acknowledge even the slightest things to be grateful for. Some nights I find myself just saying, "Thank you" over and over again until something to be thankful for pops into my head. Without fail, something always pops into my head. Even in the deepest dark, there is some light. I find that if I focus on that light, the light always comes back to me.

You've got to accentuate the positive...

Eliminate the negative and latch on to the affirmative and don't mess with Mr. In Between.

I always loved that song, but never really paid attention to what it was actually saying until recently. I think that the way we respond to life directly depends on how we perceive what happens to us. If we have a negative attitude, the main thing we see is all the negative things that happen in our life. If we have a positive attitude, we open ourselves up to good things happening.

Think about it. When you wake up in a foul mood, the day is pretty much shot. Don't we always say, "It's Murphy's Law." "I'm late. Of course, I hit every red light." "Why do these things always happen to me?" I used to think that when we have a negative attitude, we draw negative things to ourselves, but it's more than that. It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. We create our own reality in this. It's like, once we are in a foul mood, we want to continue it. We're affronted. We start looking for everything that is bothering us. When we do that, even minor things that we could normally shrug off, become bigger.

Instead, let's try the reverse. Start looking for the gift in every bad situation. Start the day off happy and see where that takes you. Now that I have set time aside to be thankful every night, I find myself more aware of the good things during the day. I'm noticing them so I can remember to be thankful later. I've been much happier lately. I go through my day looking for the next good thing and it always comes. I've put myself into the positive, so I see positive things. I am open to all of life's gifts large and small.

Everything that happens to us can be viewed as a curse, a gift, or something in between. Let's eliminate the curse, get rid of the in between and concentrate on the gift!